Just a sort of overview of some key things going on right now:
- Self-training on GLSL/Art/NFTs
- Situation with ex gf
- Plan to make a case for functionalism and prove Andres/QRI wrong
Self-Training on GLSL/Art/NFTs:
Currently I’m in the process of still teaching myself skills to accomplish my goals with GLSL. This is mostly focused on math in the context of shaders, but also includes artistic perspective as well. I have no formal college art training, but I began self-teaching some relevant concepts in high-school as well as taking elective photography and pottery classes. The photography classes were clear in my mind as an influence, but I actually didn’t realize how relevant pottery likely has been until writing this just now. When working on a shader and finalizing what I’ll render and share with the world, I try to get into a photography mindset and explore how I can frame things to get the best result. Specific objects can be placed arbitrarily, but when creating fractals or even just moderately complex functions, the resulting space isn’t predictable and requires exploration to understand like any other natural environment. After the last several months of focus, I’m already experiencing a huge shift in what I can do, and I’m beginning to work towards replicating exact physical objects and scenes. If I’m aiming to replicate bizarre phenomenology only temporarily present in occasional conscious states, then I better hope to be able to replicate the phenomenology of typical conscious states. Luckily cameras already capture the visual part of this just fine, which is all I’m aiming for with GLSL anyways. If I can make photorealistic scenes, than I’ll be much closer to making psychedelic-realistic scenes.
Situation with ex gf:
Where to start…quite a disaster here. Maybe not, but at least a dumb story. The last 10 months have been somewhat hellish. If not for the extra weirdness, it probably still would be a bit hellish in recovery from the breakup, but possibly not as long-winded. The extra weirdness is that before breaking up, my ex had told me she was pregnant with my child. I did my best to embrace the situation, but there was a clear reality of consistent arguing and building distance between my ex and I. The breakup was for the best and pretty obviously inevitable looking back. However when she and her family suddenly ceased communication without explanation, that was not expected. Over the course of the supposed pregnancy (friends and family familiar with the situation have offered that such strange circumstances suggest possibly no child at all) she cut contact entirely, blocking on all connected social platforms and to this day I still do not know if I’m a father or not. All attempts to find out so far haven’t gone anywhere. The seeming most likely possibility at this point is that she was pregnant but not with my child. If that is the case, it likely will have its own new emotional toll, but at this point I am pretty much ready to find out the truth no matter what. I just want to be done. If I am a father, I’ll be bummed that my first born child is with this strange family that represents such unsocial behavior. If I’m not, I’ll probably find it much easier to drop any remaining feeling of love I have for her. There’s an unhealthy part of me that still hopes somehow this is all a sort of cloudiness that if cleared away results in her and I together again. Yikes, luckily almost none of that remains at this point. I look forward to my mind’s relationship to this whole situation 6 months or a year, or even just a few weeks from now. Unless something changes, for now I’ll proceed assuming I’m not a father.
Plan to make a case for for functionalism/prove Andres wrong:
A Glider gliding, from LifeWiki
Recently I had a twitter exchange with Andres Gomes Emilsson, co-founder of Qualia Research Institute. I had replied to a tweet of his about how digital “sentience” is not possible due to lack of possible phenomenal binding, noting that I believe gliders are real. Gliders in this contex meaning the pattern in Conway’s Game of Life which moves diagonally across the space. I believe these digital objects can be shown to be bound under Andres’ theory of topological segmentation as a basis for binding. This will be an exciting future blog post as I think it will also express more precisely what sort of mindset my art is created with. I don’t intend to take any shortcuts with this, as, if I manage to make a real contribution with this, I’ll also be making a case for what sort of general quality I can contribute to this sort of science. Even if holes are quickly poked in it, or I realize that I have a misunderstanding or assumption somewhere, the output of this will still be useful in explaining Andres’ theories and common misconceptions about them.
These three topics are the most salient things in my life at the moment, just thought it might be good to express them. TL;DR Collectors can expect growing value in my NFT art, I have a bizarre situation where I may be a father (but at this point will assume not for sanity), and given the early state of the science of consciousness it turns out I may already be able to make a potential contribution towards it.
Oh also I got Dalle access, its been fun to play with, I made this collage using it. This is not directly from Dalle but multiple independent generations and inpaints put together. Similar to replicating photography, doing the same with Dalle generations may also be a good way to test and improve my replication skill.